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    August 12

    育儿

    话说这育儿真是一门学问,却没有持证就上岗了。

    大凡有些责任感的父母,在育儿的时候多半会参照自己的经验教训,觉得自己做的还不错的,希望孩子发扬广大,自己成长中的错误,挫折,则希望孩子能避免。然而,有时候不免要想想,自己的经验也好,教训也罢,只是自己一个人的体验,也许根本就不是那么回事呢。

    儿子两岁半的时候,说话有些口吃,我心里有些着急,后来偶然看到,似乎这个时候出现轻微的口吃是正常的,但当时还是着急。有一次,孩子口吃的时候,孩子爷爷批评孩子,让孩子不要那样说话。我说,不要批评他,因为他不是故意的,批评他只能让他强化他口吃的意识。让他把注意力集中在他怎么说话而不是说什么上了,或者他为了不犯错误就干脆不说了。我的做法是,耐心一些,等孩子说完了,告诉他不要着急,慢慢地跟我把它刚才说的话再说一次,以便让他在没有心理压力的情景下学会说话。但是现在,我反思自己的做法可能也是有问题的,也可能让他强化口吃的意识。也许最好的做法是不去管他,只是耐心地听完他说的话就好了。

    孩子还很小的时候,大概1岁多一些,会走路了,怕他在家里的插座上触电,所以我不允许他有任何接触插座的想法或者动作,有一次,他试图去碰插座,我就狠狠地打了他的手,我自己感觉挺重的,但是大概小孩子痛感不明显,他以为我跟她玩,嘿嘿地乐着还做碰的动作,我就又去打手,反复这么5,6次,孩子终于哭了。现在想想,也许我又错了。“打”绝对不是好的教育方式,即使是打着爱的旗号。

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